Is that a pipe in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

While in Perth… Perth, Perth, Perth… will she ever stop??

As I was saying, while in Perth we came across some art. Now, I’m not a big fan of art, and I’m a total ignoramus when it comes to the understanding the abstracts concepts behind some of the ‘art’ around me. I’m plain and simple, and like my art the same.

So, we came across this giant sculpture, Coast Guard, in Perth.

Coast Guard


We were like… What the??!! Why is a huge man in the middle of the street, taking a piss? Yes, that’s what he’s doing, all my boys agreed. Hands on hips, back slightly arched, and legs apart. Classic hands-free pissing position. I’ve seen it many, many times. Not just the, ‘I’m a boy, and I can piss anytime, anywhere, anyhow!’, delight that little boys spew, but the devious hands-free a boy will use if he doesn’t want to waste time washing hands after using the facilities. Using the ‘I didn’t touch it so I don’t have to wash my hands’ logic.

Anyhows, we had a good giggle about him, brash Aussie humor at its finest, but then I read the plaque. Big mistake. I should have left it well enough alone. Here is the plaque.

Coast Guard


See it says, ‘Considers the value and status of the pawn beyond the chessboard’.


A pawn? I thought he was a naked coast guard taking a piss?

Chess? What has chess got to do with taking a piss?

So I’ve come to the conclusion that the artist is trying to ‘take THE piss out’ (make fools) of anyone who buys the whole chessboard/pawn bull. Here he is from behind, for your viewing pleasure.

Coast Guard


You don’t fool me Mr. Artist guy!! What do you think? Does this statue scream chess to you?


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